I had an epiphany about my painting...and then about my life

I realized the other day, while I was working on a new painting, that my best work, the work that has the most depth, is usually accomplished by painting a new painting on top of an old one.  Why is that?  because what inevitably ends up happening is that I leave parts of the old painting visible in the new painting.  It is almost unrecognizable in the sense that the intention of the old painting is usually completely covered up--but small details, layers of color or shape, are woven in.  In doing this, the painting takes on more layers, more detail and usually a sense of freedom or etheriality.  The weaving of layers is an essential accident of my best work.

When I realized this I had two thoughts almost simultaneously--the first thought was I need to start doing this intentionally.  I decided to start creating "underpaintings" as a part of my process.  Many artists do this, at least with color washes--they paint a solid color or color wash onto their canvas before they begin a painting.  This way, when they paint, they are responding to a unified color throughout the work (instead of the stark white of a blank canvas).  My under painting idea is similar, but rather than wash the whole canvas in one color, i create  a very quick abstract image with multiple shapes and sections, and fill them in with paint or collage.  In doing this, essentially, I"m setting the stage for color play and shape integration by creating pieces that may or may not be woven into my final painting.

This is an underpainting--quick shapes and colors filling the canvas

My second insight was far more personal:  I have moved many times over the past few years.  I find it most striking when thinking in terms of my children and their lives.  My 12 year old son has lived in 8 homes during his life.  That is 5 states and 2 countries.  Considering I lived in the same state for my entire childhood until I graduated college, this moving around thing has been a surprising twist to my life that I could not have even imagined when I was a kid (I had never been on an airplane until I was 11 or 12--my son did his first cross Atlantic flight/move when he was 9 weeks old).

Moving around a lot has added shape and color to my life in ways that I'm not sure I can even explain or fully understand. And while many of the moves have been positive, there have also been challenges.  I certainly did not expect to move from Pennsylvania to Michigan with my boys last year only to move again this year to Maryland.  And while new is exciting, and we might like to think of our life as one big adventure, I am frankly over the adventure.  I would love to settle down, find a home, build a life and let my roots grow deep.

But back to the layers:  I realized, each time I move, each time I become part of a new community, I grow.  I create, or uncover, a piece of myself--and, like my paintings, I realized that as I move on, I become my best self by layering and weaving those pieces together.  SO while the moving has had its challenges, I also know that I am becoming the person I am supposed to be--growing, layering and learning as a result.

Dreaming of Home  36"x48" Mixed Media on Board

This painting, measuring 36" x 48" is the result of painting on top of an existing painting.  It is called "Dreaming of Home"--with each home representing a state or country I have lived in with my family: Michigan, New York, Israel, New Jersey, Pennsylvania,Michigan again and Maryland.